S05E105 Navigating High School and the College Admissions Journey with Nicholas Rhee

Ever wonder what it's really like to navigate the high-stakes world of college applications as a teenager today? In this family conversation, host Sam Rhee sits down with his 18-year-old son Nicholas to unpack the reality behind the high school experience and college admissions process.

Nicholas shares his journey from elementary school math programs to becoming a Duke University-bound senior, offering a refreshingly honest perspective on the challenges and triumphs along the way. The conversation delves into how early academic habits formed through programs like Kumon created a foundation for later success, despite the resistance most children naturally feel toward extra work. As Nicholas explains, these formative experiences made achievements feel "obtainable through enough practice and prep," establishing a growth mindset that served him well through high school.

The discussion tackles several universal struggles facing today's students – from managing screen time, to maintaining healthy sleep patterns during academically demanding periods. The discussion also explores the emotional dynamics of sibling relationships, and the importance of time management and study habits.

Perhaps most valuable is Nicholas's candid account of the emotional rollercoaster of college applications. After receiving a deferral from Duke during Early Decision, he shares how he maintained perspective during the agonizing months of waiting: "It's not like it's the end of the world... it just means things didn't go your way this one time." His advice to fellow students focuses on "de-polarizing" the process, applying to multiple schools, and remembering that no single admission decision defines your worth or potential.

Whether you're a parent supporting a teenager through this journey, a student in the midst of the process, or simply curious about how today's generation navigates these critical transitions, this conversation offers invaluable insights into maintaining balance during one of life's most stressful yet formative experiences.

#CollegeAdmissions #HighSchoolLife #StudentAdvice #CollegeBound #HighSchoolSenior #StudentVoices #CollegeJourney #EducationMatters #ParentingTeens #StudentExperience #HigherEducation #CollegePrep #ParentingTeens #CollegeApplication #BotoxAndBurpees #podcast

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S05E105 Navigating High School and the College Admissions Journey with Nicholas Rhee

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00]

Sam Rhee: Welcome to another episode of Botox and Burpees.

I'm here with my son Nicholas Re, he's 18 years old. He is a senior in high school, and this episode is about his experience in high school,

advice that he can give for others who are navigating both the college process, the high school process, and what his experiences are like.

And obviously this is, I. Just a single person's experience, but, you know, with everything that we've talked about in the past, I think it's really important to get that first person perspective. Nick actually lived it. Um, he is now finishing up his senior year, and so I think it's a great time for him to sort of reflect on his experiences and give some advisor thoughts about what, what it was like for him to, uh, go through high school and now he will be entering as a freshman at Duke University, um, in the fall.

So, uh, welcome Nick. Thank you for guesting.

Nicholas Rhee: Thanks for having me on the show, ed.

Sam Rhee: Okay. Alright. [00:01:00] So, um, just tell, uh, the audience a little bit about yourself, what you would want them to know.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, so, like my dad said, I'm, I'm senior in high school. Um, I've gone to Dwight Englewood High School for the last four years, entering as a freshman.

Um, um, yeah, school's wrapping up for me in about like, you know. Be honestly less than a month. And, um, yeah, and that's kind of like looking to close things out and, um, I'm glad to be on the show.

Sam Rhee: Thanks. Uh, I really appreciate you doing this. Um, let's start with your first early years, like basically like kindergarten through eighth grade.

Um, I know you had a, uh, you were in Ridgewood at the time. Uh, what stood out in terms of your early experiences, anything that really was super positive or maybe super negative that you feel like might have influenced how you did later on in your high school career?

Nicholas Rhee: So, I mean, obviously like the main, the main topic of this is obviously about like, and the main themes are about like college applications and like the, the [00:02:00] kind of like wider scope of like that kind of process.

And, but obviously like going back to something like kindergarten, eighth grade, it, like, I'm not even thinking about anything like that back then, honestly, that my scope is so much smaller.

So I think in terms of like key moments I can look back on like, you know, um, I always consider myself, you know, even when I was like in elementary school to like me to be very fortunate to have a very, um, stable and, um, you know, very good education.

And I just in general, you know, felt like I had everything I needed, pretty much, like I had the support of teachers, um, you know, you know, good, um, good environment, good, good friends, good classmates.

I was in elementary school, which is a, it was a K through five program, and then you go to the middle school, local middle school, George Washington, which is a, um, sixth through eighth grade program only. So, um, yeah, that transition was to from was pretty, pretty seamless I'd say. Like they facilitate that pretty easily.

Yeah, there's also, there's other kinds of prep and resources that I've also, you know, taken advantage of, thankfully, because, um, you know, things like extra test prep, tutoring, um, and obviously that's less of a factor earlier, um, in your education.

But, uh, yeah, that definitely kind of, [00:03:00] that definitely does kind of prime you, I think, from an early age to expect to kind of go the extra mile in a sense. And, uh, um, you know, taking risks, exploring new things, what, what works, um, you know, what direction you kind of wanna go down with your academics.

So, um, yeah, I think that definitely the framing was definitely important for me. And, you know, those habits that you build are very important for high school as well as, so

Sam Rhee: mom thinks that making you guys do kuman early, especially all that math kuman was helpful, uh, and we started early. Do you think that that, uh, played a role in terms of your future academic success?

Nicholas Rhee: Uh, yeah, I think so. I mean, like, I guess, I mean it's, it's a pretty easy thing to call back to, I guess, obviously. 'cause it's like just, it's almost like, it's almost like, you know, introductory test prep in a sense.

Maybe get a bit of a head start and certain courses and like, um, yeah, honestly, I honestly don't even remember that much from those days.

But like, yeah, like we did that for a pretty long time. But I think, yeah, that definitely in like those formative years, that definitely does help actually in a sense. Like, you know, regardless of what program you use, I think. But [00:04:00] Kumon, like, you know, for me that helped me feel more confident, at least in my abilities, in a sense, felt like, um, it really felt like it's reaching towards a goal in a sense.

Like, it made things seem very obtainable, you know, through enough practice and through enough prep because, you know, I was definitely seeing improvements and,

it just me kept that constant feeling of like engagement and, you know, actualizing my own education in a sense.

It kept that very front, front mind for me. So

Sam Rhee: I know you didn't really like it as a kid. Would you force your own kid to do something like that?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I mean, of course it all depends. Like, I think, I mean, yeah, like I don't think any kid really is like gonna be too partial towards like extra prep or just any extra work.

Like, especially for maybe an earlier age, like that concept can seem kind of foreign. But you know, in general,

like I think it was a good decision at least that like, at the very least it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't negative to, um, to offer that kind of extra prep. You can take advantage of those resources that we're lucky to have.

I guess like maybe I was a parent, I think consider the circumstances obviously, but you know, for something like Kuma at least it's pretty [00:05:00] low maintenance. Like it's more so your child taking their learning into their own tent in a sense and just, um, trying to. Steady, make steady progress, you know, not too much pressure, but just kinda get the feel for what tutoring can be like and how it can, um, play that, play that active role in your learning in a sense.

I think building up those habits and that expectation is very, is very beneficial for, you know, kids at that age. And,

depending whether you stick with it or not, it's just something to keep in mind and that if you want success in the future, these kinds of habits are very important to build so.

Sam Rhee: How about sports? I know we ran both you and Sasha through probably every possible sport known to mankind as a kid. So we did lacrosse and soccer and football and, and pretty much everything. And you know, some kids really gravitate towards it, some don't. What do you remember about your early, like, sports experiences and how you felt about that?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, so yeah, so like, I, I think I definitely have, I guess been through, I mean, maybe not as much as some other kids. Like I've, there's definitely experimentation that I've, [00:06:00] I've been going through I guess with like that and like. You know, I, especially earlier in elementary school and like, that's, um, and looking back though, like I, even if, um, there weren't, you know, so many positive moments,

at the moment, at the very least,

being like exposed and those kinds of perspectives and

generally engaging, you know, as, as anyone would like with their peers and,

which is something that, you know, all kids should do.

And, you know, I'm glad I was, I got into, you know, from an earlier age,

some, some, some kids may have clear direction, like they really gravitate towards a sport early on. And you know, for me, like it wasn't really like that. Like, you know, we're not exactly like a sports centric family, so to speak.

that was never like the focus, I guess. But

I mean that variety of, you know, again, of sports and that kind of engagement definitely didn't hurt.

Slightly pushing yourself outta your comfort zone can be very valuable.

And I think it probably helped me a good amount too, even though I didn't continue to play things like lacrosse or, uh, soccer for too long after. But yeah.

Sam Rhee: How about, uh, so if you had to think of any particular person from K to eight, uh, up your whole Ridgewood experience, was there anyone that really stuck out as.

A mentor, someone that was super [00:07:00] positive, someone that, uh, you still think about, uh, as part of your academic career or life?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. Uh, that's a good question. Um, I think in terms of like, in terms of like mentors so to speak. Mm-hmm. I think that, um, I think I, I can also name a lot of the middle school teachers. I, in a sensely, I think. Um, but also I think like, even like going back to like first grade, like she, my first grade teacher, like, like Ms. Peterson, like she was actually, you know, someone who really sticks out in my mind actually, even from all the way back then.

And she, uh, she definitely kind of, you know, it was kind of my first exposure to like, oh yeah, like this postal system is very good, very supportive. And um, there are people here who generally want to get to know me as a person and a learner,

I think that, you know, that was definitely a very, um, very formative experience and that definitely helped,

what I could expect, what I could feel secure and, um, knowing with my education.

Sam Rhee: So that's really cool. I I love [00:08:00] that. I remember my grade school teachers too. Uh, some good, some not so good. So, uh, so then you transition from eighth grade in at Ridgewood to Dwight Englewood as a freshman in high school. Now, I know Sasha originally was the first person in, you know, your your bigger sister to go to Dwight.

How did you feel about that transition? What was that like? What did you notice that was really different or advice that you could give for anyone transitioning into another high school? What was that like for you?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, so, um, you know, looking back, it definitely felt like things were moving very quickly at that time.

I remember when she was, she was two years older, so I remember even when I was in sixth grade, even before that,

um, you know, just lots of considerations obviously.

it also in a sense kind of boils down to, you know, what does the future look like? Like what do you want your active future look like? Um, you know, and generally that obviously is gonna pertain to college very significantly. Um, and, you know,

Sam Rhee: were you thinking that at that time?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. So like in sixth grade, honestly, not really. Like, obviously I'm hearing [00:09:00] inklings of it.

But then obviously, um, I, I called back to that when I was in eighth grade and making that decision for myself.

I was very glad that, you know, you guys were giving, giving an incision. I'm very thankful for that, you know, to be able to take control of that my own way, you know, weigh the options. And you know, I think when I was looking at it, I was looking at the same things she was in a sense.

How do I like the school when I tour it? And like, um, what are the general, what's the general perception I'm getting?

Um, what kind of opportunities do I think are available to me there? How will my, how will academics be streamlined? You know, what's the reputation?

Sam Rhee: Did you think of all those things, like did you think that it would help you in terms of the academics, the activities available? Did you see that when you were considering those choices?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. So obviously like, you know, through things like touring, like some extra research as well. And of course through, you know, my sister literally going through that, right. That was a huge benefit, you know, definitely streamlined that a lot and helped me. I. Get a clear picture of what was on the table and what I could see myself doing.

So I think, yeah, like obviously NTA very positive first two years mm-hmm. Um, before I made that decision.

Like I thought that that was all super promising and uh, [00:10:00] very, very, very, very good indicator of, you know, of, you know, what that could bring.

And again seeing, you know, how happy Sasha was most, you know, Sasha happy she was at there and you know, how positive environment she was having and her experiences were being very good.

And, um, again, like she seemed like, you know, nothing, nothing's really outta reach in a sense.

Sam Rhee: What, uh, so let's talk a little bit about your relationship with Sasha, your big sister. So she's two years older. She is not, she's never been hesitant to give you advice. In fact, I think she probably gives you more advice than to anyone else.

She obviously cares a lot about you. Um, siblings have different relationships, like I've seen different families, you know, older sister, younger brother. How would you characterize like your relationship with Sasha and how has that worked over the, the past couple years? I.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. So, you know, we're pretty close.

Um, you know, I think for as long as I can remember and yeah, she does give me probably, she probably does gimme the most advice outta anyone, you know, I talk to. And, um, but yeah, I'm just lucky to have that connection. 'cause obviously, you know, certain families, that can differ a lot.

I've never, never really [00:11:00] known, like my experience growing up without, you know, having kinda someone looking over my shoulder in a sense. And someone I can just talk to you about these things that, you know, are very age specific and or very age sensitive in a sense.

And you can't always get the same perspective very easily, even among your peers. But, you know, having my sister to grow up beside me is super helpful.

People always say like, in families, like, you know, the, the, the older siblings, like the Guinea pig in a sense. Like, you know, you can just see how, see how they went through it, see, you know, what some mistakes they made, what worked for them, and, uh, uh, learn from that.

So yeah, generally it's, you know, Sasha's so helpful. Um, so much advice, so much guidance a lot of the time, um, helping me make connections, helping me,

And these big decisions like, you know, going to high school where a lot of, of course, like, you know, so much of the experience is like, I.

It's emotional, it's like personal to you.

Sam Rhee: Did you feel your temperament was the same as Sasha's or different? Like, was it, uh, how did it contrast?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, God, I mean, well, we're pretty different people honestly, in terms of like, you know demeanor and just general, like, um, yeah, I guess temperament in sense, like in terms of like, you know, extroversion, introversion maybe?

Oh yeah. I'm more introverted, [00:12:00] but like, um, but yeah, like obviously, um, it's not just that because like in terms of, because when I can see, you know, when I was able to see how she was going through it and how she was getting super involved, he's super active, you know, I was like, well, you know, I can do the same thing.

I don't, I don't see why not. And like in terms of, but also like in terms of how accepting the community is and how, um, calming it is for so many different kinds of students, different kinds of learners. That was something I picked up on very quickly.

Sam Rhee: Is there anything that you did that you were, like Sasha gave you advice and, and I know a lot of it you did follow, she's pretty successful obviously, but was there anything you're like, I'm gonna do it a little differently or I'm gonna do something else, not this because I am a different person.

Do you remember anything like that? Extracurricular wise? Maybe co course choices?

Nicholas Rhee: For example, like middle school, like there's an advanced math program obviously, but.

There's not, you know, any kind of like, you know, advanced English program or like distinguish distinguishing factors,

so moving into Deloitte, that was actually a pretty new experience. Like, you know,

not just stem, but also, you know, exercising your creativity in [00:13:00] English and the arts and humanities, which,

Sam Rhee: is that what you did?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, I think I was just, you know, in general I was able to express those interest in a much more, um, in a much more directed way and focused way in a sense, you know, not only through classes, but through, like, through the available curriculars.

Sam Rhee: Which extracurriculars helped you to sort of develop those interests?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, so like in terms of, you know, things like philosophy or English or humanities or writing, any kind of thing that isn't just in purely stem, like, you know, things like. On, I'm on the ethics ball team. That was a big thing for me. Um, you know, we said really successful here, which I'm proud of, and yeah, set that up.

Bring to the newspaper, um, that was something that, you know, I was definitely appreciative of

And other things like debate.

I felt to be able to craft my then in my own way, craft my experience as a learner.

Sam Rhee: So sports and extracurriculars. Did you do your first and second year in high school?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, so like, obviously I was kind of just looking towards basketball 'cause that was something I was, I wanted to continue from like middle school. Mm-hmm. Um, but of course, you know, track was also there and I was considering doing that as well earlier on.

Sam Rhee: So [00:14:00] you stuck with track. You, you only did basketball for two years. So what was the difference between the two?

Why'd you stick with track and, and not basketball?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, probably just, well, I mean, I, I'd say skill probably has something to do with it as well,

Sam Rhee: but you're a better track person than basketball, which

Nicholas Rhee: honestly, I'm even, I don't even know if I'm better or not, but it's just like, it's, I mean, it's your own thing.

Like you don't have to really feel, you know, indebted to like, you know, helping the team or like mm-hmm. Worrying about minutes, things like that. 'cause it's just your own sport. It just makes it super more accessible and more, um, individualized, which I think helps for when, you know, I'm not like pursuing sports too seriously, but I definitely wanna stay active still and

Sam Rhee: Right.

Nicholas Rhee: Build that community. So that kind of environment was, you know, it just, it it's very complimentary in, in its nature.

Sam Rhee: What did, what did you just run? Like what events have you just run recently?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, yeah, so like, I mean, initially in sophomore year I started as like a, I just kind of started sprinting just 'cause I wasn't really sure what to do really. And that's just a lot of what a lot of kids do.

Then I eventually, I was like, in junior year I was like, okay, maybe this sprint thing, you wanna try something different? Maybe I wanna like, um, try other events,

and I was definitely seeing some [00:15:00] progress in junior year. Um, you know, I was running the, running the mile in 800, which, which is, which is nice and difficult. Difficult but nice and, you know, meeting a lot of, um, you know, getting closer with a lot of people through that as well. Distance program has been pretty small recently, so that's another, another factor of it.

So they kind of need more runners.

Sam Rhee: So what's your mile time average?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, so like, um, like in junior year I was really good. I was really set with some IPR, like in like near the end of the year with like, around like a five 12.

Sam Rhee: Wow.

Nicholas Rhee: It's not that it's not that good, honestly, but like, but I was, but I was, what I was happy was most happy about though, was just the progress I was making.

And this year I, it was a little less focused, so, um, no, so, so my time currently is like around like maybe like a couple, like maybe like around five 30 couples, like, you know, it's below that, but, like it's that progress part and I'm still trying to get that as much as possible and also kind of transition going to 32 now more a little bit as,

Sam Rhee: which is a two mile basically.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. So that's, you know, that's something I was almost a little hesitant to do a little nervous about, but, um, you know, recently I've been kind of looking more towards that and just getting more [00:16:00] mileage. Um,

Sam Rhee: and what was your last two? Uh, 3,200 time?

Nicholas Rhee: Uh, it was only my second time running it and, but at least I said a pr it was like a 1252.

So.

Sam Rhee: Nice.

Nicholas Rhee: You know, officially again, was better than I expected, at least, so, right. You know, maybe last year I probably could have run faster, but, you know, I'm just. I'm un glad I'm still, you know, able to get into that rhythm.

Sam Rhee: You took the SAT early right after your freshman year.

Would you recommend that for people to do?

Nicholas Rhee: Like most time the people just go with the typical standard trajectory of like, doing it you maybe like late sophomore year or like, you know, in the middle of their junior year, which, you know, thing is that.

So obviously that works. That's generally what is considered the standard.

but, uh, you know, and like when, when mom, when mom was first like talking about.

Doing that. I was like, I was like, just really, like, I really have to, like, is it really necessary to do this differently? Like, is that really gonna help me in any way? Or is this gonna be in diff like it's gonna make my summer more difficult? But um, looking back, I think it, you know, I think for me at least, it was the right move.

Mm-hmm. Like it, you know, I was less busy freshman summer than obviously like consecutive summers. Mm-hmm. So I think that leveraging that [00:17:00] time taking advantage of it is, you know, it's, it's something that helps.

Depends on what you think is best for you, what, um, your circumstances are, whether how busy you are. But I think for me, at the very least, taking it during freshman summer was a good choice.

Sam Rhee: You remember the test prep, like how intensive it was? Was it fun to do that that summer?

Nicholas Rhee: It wasn't fun Yeah. At all. But, um, like, I mean, you know, taking a lot of practice tests and of course it also depends on the kind of, um, prep you do in a sense. 'cause for, like for me personally, I was in like this summer program that was specifically curated for the SAT.

Right. Um, you know, and it had it, you know, very strict timetables. It was meant to prepare you over a, you know, a specific amount of time, go over specific, um, parameters,

for a lot of kids that can help structure the process. I mean, it definitely is, at the very least for standardized test prep, social, S-A-T-A-C-T.

I think that it's definitely something where structured, structured, focused, like regimented Prep is very helpful.

Sam Rhee: So speaking of structure, talk about developing your study habits, your time management skills. What ha what have you developed, uh, over your four [00:18:00] years in high school in terms of what kind of person are you in terms of how you study, how you, you know, how you prep your time management?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. So, um, I think tied management skills definitely were something that, um, you know, you kind of, I think I, I cultivated kind of early on, maybe like middle school.

I mean, it is something that I think inherent to me. I'm just kind of like, I just, you know, I, I just like, am very passionate about bettering myself as a learner and, you know, doing the work that's necessary. So I think that. I had a good enough foundation going into high school.

And, um, obviously like, you know, there's things I could do a lot better, things I could improve on. But in general, like, you know, um,

Sam Rhee: are you very regimented and structured where you have a schedule or are you more of a procrastinator and you let it go until the last second?

Nicholas Rhee: Also, like a mix, like, I dunno, like, I mean, you know, I can be more disciplined at times.

Like, I could definitely not procrastinate, but, um, you know, so sometimes I guess maybe when I'm feeling like it away, it's just the time presents itself. Like I'm like, you know, I can also turn it on the side of me where I'm, I'm doing, you know, more and [00:19:00] more disciplined and I'm more structured now I'm doing things.

It's, the way that it's, depends on the way that you want to, you want take advantage of what's available to you, what kind of person you are and you know, you, there's so many methods you can use, so many, um, strategies.

So many.

Sam Rhee: Are there any strategies that you use in particular?

Nicholas Rhee: Not really. Like, I mean it's like, you know, like I don't use like the Pomodora really, but I know that that works for some people. But also like I. I think in general it's just, it's just a matter of mindset, you know? So it's what, you know, if you wanna make that change, if you feel like you want to make a change in your habits, you can do that.

Sam Rhee: So you've been pretty happy with how you've been doing with your study habits and your time management?

Nicholas Rhee: I think it's worked. It can always be better though. So I think that's something I still want to improve on. But

Sam Rhee: what are your time sucks? What are the things that sort of you really enjoy doing that uh, are not academic, that sort of, you know, take you away from things?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I don't, I think in general, just probably like scrolling. That is kind of, I think every kid's phone surfing, every high school kid's pitfall at this point. Like, I mean,

Sam Rhee: do you keep track of your screen time at [00:20:00] all?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, like from time to time, like, honestly, I'm not the biggest fan of doing that just because, not because like I don't think keeping track, being aware of immuno screen time is important, isn't important, but it's also like, it tends to be inaccurate in a sense, like in how it's calculated like you think so not just, I think so. Like, I know, so, oh, when it tells me I'm on, like, like I'm being honest, like when it tells me I'm on the phone for like 20 hours, just 'cause like I left it on for like a period of time or something, or like it just miscalculated it. 'cause I had, that has happened a couple times. Like when it's just some ridiculous number and

Sam Rhee: I wanna look at my screen time and see what it says here. Keep going.

Nicholas Rhee: But yeah, I mean, uh, that, that's something you should probably keep track of for sure though. Um. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, I mean, I'm not someone who I don't think I've, I've never had chronic issues, like maybe like some people with where like I definitely need, where I need some kind of limiter on myself

Sam Rhee: it says two hours for me, but this is my second phone, so probably if you doubled it, it would be like four hours a day, at least minimum for me. What would you think your screen time would be?

Nicholas Rhee: I mean, do you wanna check? Okay, let's see.

Like, like, [00:21:00] it usually varies, varies kind of wildly week to week anyway, but like I can see like, uh, daily average around like, uh, seven hours.

Sam Rhee: Whoa. Is that a lot, or, or average for you think for kids?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I don't know. I mean, like, is that accurate, do you think? Um, I mean, oh, that, like, I mean, like, I, I guess, I mean actually I think that's probably one of the more, more one of the more accurate assessments I've uh, seen recently.

Sam Rhee: So what do you use app-wise most on your phone? Like, what is it that you scroll most on?

Nicholas Rhee: Uh, I think for me it's probably like, I'm actually a YouTube guy. I like mm-hmm. I like, you know, YouTube and YouTube shorts too, actually. Mm-hmm. I guess some people don't, aren't that partial towards that kids my age, but.

Obviously like, you know, the big, obviously I'm still also on things like, you know, tiktoks. Mm-hmm. Snapchat, Instagram, like those are maybe the, and what does your feed show you? Mostly? Like a lot of what? Um, yeah. Think, because I think in general Instagram is probably the most, the most universal [00:22:00] app among kids, at least that I know.

You know, I just, I don't know anyone who uses Facebook, but I know everyone use Instagram and they use that to as the main modes of communication when it comes to all purpose communication when it comes to post.

Sam Rhee: How would say Sasha uses Snap? Almost more than ig don't you think?

Nicholas Rhee: Uh, yeah. I mean, well I mean obviously like it serves different purposes though.

'cause like, I mean, I feel like Snap almost has become like the new just Messenger. Oh, messenger system. Messenger. But obviously like it doesn't have the same kinds of. General posts or, um, you know, or consistent or kind of consistent presence. That's something like, uh, Instagram has. So like that's kind of why I see Instagram as the main form.

Sam Rhee: I know Susan and I have not done any kind of regulation for you guys on your phones. Like we've just, we got you guys phones pretty early on in, uh, as kids and have not really sort of stopped you guys from using it.

Is that really the best way to regulate kids in terms of phone is just to, to trust them with it? Because, I mean, some kids, uh, could be, maybe others can't. Like, what do you think in general people's policies should be?

Nicholas Rhee: I mean, I'm not, I can't really speak from the [00:23:00] lens of a parent or someone who's,

Sam Rhee: but then look about the, the, your peers, like how they use their phones.

Yeah. And like, so I. Is it even realistic to try to regulate phone use for kids?

Nicholas Rhee: That's the thing. In terms of the realism, I actually don't think it's that particularly realistic. 'cause like in, obviously like, 'cause I actually do know, like I do know some kids do actually like, have specific screen time, like, um, screen time, like adjustments, like where like, like, you know, you, there's the screen time thing on iPhone and like you can, there's like a password that you have to enter to remove it.

Really? Yeah. Or else like you're barred from access. But, um, I dunno, I know a lot of kids you also just have the password, like, or you can just get around it. Like what, almost by like design though. 'cause it's like, it's almost like a nominal thing. Like, yeah, like, you know, I had a screen time and my parents said it and they want to use my phone less, but they also know that like, you know, you know, I can also remove it and like, they don't really care.

It's Right.

Sam Rhee: So it's just like when you're driving and you see that speed limit sign and it says too fast. Too fast.

Nicholas Rhee: Sure, sure. Yeah, that, that's a good analogy. I think like, but yeah, in general, like, [00:24:00] I don't think most kids my age, I, I most get to my age. Like, might say they have a problem with screen time, but like, it's not, it's not really.

A active hindrance in a sense, and know something that like, is actively like being detrimental. But, you know, of course it's probably something that most kids, I think can improve, myself included.

Sam Rhee: You know, it was funny, I, I sent you that article about that guy Kwan, the professional baseball player. Uh, and um, he had a story where he was in college and he was supposed to study for a final, and the new Fallout game came out. And so instead of studying, he played that until like 3:00 AM he failed his final, he was in a tremendous amount of trouble, and it was one of those kind of realizations that like he needed to figure out how to get his life in order.

Do you see your peers, anyone like that where, you know, they're smart kids, everyone's obviously pretty smart, but sometimes it's that sort of self-management that is lacking in terms of [00:25:00] being able to be successful in life?

Nicholas Rhee: And respect to him. Man, I mean, follow, that's a, that's a dangerous temptation. Yeah.

It's like, uh, but yeah, like I think that, yeah, actually, you know, I mean, yeah, I think it's a kind of a mix. Like, you know, it depends on, I guess, the environment you're surrounded by too, and the kinds of people you interact with. But yeah, I think, again, I feel like this is a very universal thing. Like, you know, phone usage is something everyone's concerned about on the news, everyone in contemporary media, like, and, um, you know, how much would that technology interfere with their lives?

Um, at least among people I know. But, um, again, it's about, yeah, that self-regulation though is most important apart. It's the fact that, you know, do you have, so I think that's what distinguishes between maybe having a specific problem and having, needing a change in discipline and mindset, um, versus yeah, like, you know, everyone has their pitfalls, but at the end of the day, I know what's good for me.

And, um, and you know, this doesn't define me as a person if I make a mistake or two here

Sam Rhee: maybe we should all have a phone holiday, take away everybody's phone for a week. Yeah.

Nicholas Rhee: Well actually, like, you know, my school is, they, they've, there've been, um, phone free Fridays at my school that they've been running as, as like in a little event.

Mm. [00:26:00] That they've been doing for a little for while.

Sam Rhee: Did you participate in it?

Nicholas Rhee: I haven't done one. Okay. Well, I, the, I was absent one of those days, but yeah, like it's, uh, yeah, but like that, that's the thing, like people are very cognizant of what this means.

So at the very least we're aware of what's good for us and we're aware of keeping track of that things. Yeah.

Sam Rhee: Well awareness and doing are two totally different things.

Nicholas Rhee: True, true.

Sam Rhee: Let's talk about your application for colleges. So why did you choose Duke as your ed?

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, so I think that decision, it was a little gradual, maybe like, 'cause um, I think, I mean, it's a big decision and like, go look going into it.

I was just thinking okay, like, I know, I know my sister goes a Duke, I know that we're kind of a Duke family. So, um, you know, and I've always kind of been associated with this school for a while, so like I've just kind of had this, you know, you know, this inherent connection as a family and a little in a little bit of a sense.

Duke, it's an amazing school, it's an amazing institution. There's so many things about it there to love.

And, you know, after touring and after everything I'm [00:27:00] seeing after.

I, Sasha, Sasha tells me too, as you know, literally right. As a sibling of someone who goes there, like, right. That plays a huge role. Plays a huge role. Obviously, that kind of gives you, puts an intention on that school that absolutely. That nothing else really can. So I think that, yeah, it ended up seeing like a nice choice for me, a good choice.

One that wasn't forced.

Sam Rhee: I feel in retrospect now, uh, I probably wouldn't, you're right, we're a Duke family.

We went to so many games, we like wore so much Duke stuff. I went to Duke basketball camps and all this stuff. And retrospect, I think I would've changed our, our approach to it. I think we would've tried to be more non-denominational, maybe go to different basketball games. And, and I know, you know, Susan's such a huge Duke fan now, and it would've been hard.

But I, I don't like, ha I don't, in retrospect, I didn't like having that pressure on you guys. Because it is a great school, of course, but it was the only school you guys really knew growing up. And if I, I think had either of you guys not gotten [00:28:00] in, it would've felt like it was a huge letdown to you guys.

And I, I never wanted that to happen. And, you know, luck broke, uh, both your guys' way. But I think putting that kind of, um, unconscious pressure where all we did was have Duke stuff, all the crap that was in our house was Duke. Like we had Duke in the garage gym, like the sign and, and all of that, in retrospect was a mistake.

I, I never in in the future would ever wanna put that kind of emphasis on a particular university, uh, for my kids growing up, even if it was just not like you have to go there, but it was just surrounding you. Um, and so, so in some sense I feel badly about that. Um. Not that it's not a great school, obviously, but had we, you know, leaned into BC as much or anything else, then I, I think the letdown had you guys not gotten in, would not have been so bad.

Nicholas Rhee: No. Yeah. Like I definitely get, I totally get that actually. [00:29:00] 'cause like, it's, again, it's really, it's not about any kind of particular pressure, but like, again, when you kind of start, because you know, like when I'm like shown about things like this, I'm not even thinking about college, right?

Like all that is like, just, you know, like that, that, that is just, that can be difficult to cope with in a sense. Like, and

Sam Rhee: it is, and I, I remember Sasha's friend, the one whose family's all Princeton, Princeton, Princeton, Princeton, and, and everything was Princeton and she didn't get into Princeton. And I think, I mean now she's very happy where she is, but on the other hand, I think it.

At that time, it must have been so hard for her to feel like, you know, that she had nothing but Princeton gear in her house. Like they had Princeton pillows and Princeton chairs and all this sort of stuff. And so, um, I, I don't think anyone should really lean into a school for, for any reason to much. Uh,

Nicholas Rhee: I agree. Yeah. So I think like, you know, don't, you don't wanna tired doing, do something that is outta control. Mm-hmm. Like obviously like, um, it's perfectly fine to support a school or rep a school, right. Being involved with the school, however, however much you want it to be, obviously, um, you know, as a parent,

[00:30:00] like, you know, there are things you can do to, um. Really, truly assert that, you know, it's their own path. Mm-hmm. You know, where it happens, you know, you be proud of them and that they'll be happy where they go. You know, I would've been, I totally would've been happy, I think, if I went to, you know, another school, any other school I was considering during process.

Mm-hmm. Um, because I did have some good options, but I'm proud, which I'm lucky to have ha. Have had. So, um,

Sam Rhee: would you, you have gone to USC had you not gotten into Duke?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, yeah, I think that was, that was what I was looking towards really. Like, I mean, it was my options, so, I mean, yeah. Like that was my number one option.

Mm-hmm. So, again, like that's just the reality for so many people. Mm-hmm. And, you know, basically, myself included, where like you just, you know, maybe you don't get into your top choice per se, but you can get into another grade school that you're happy to have gone into that mm-hmm. You know, was difficult to get into.

And like, it just, you know, it, it doesn't reflect anything about you as a person, you as a, you as a learner, you as a student. So

Sam Rhee: is there a lot of peer pressure? Do people, do you feel that at school with your classmates in terms of like, who gets into what or, or people being judged because of the admissions or, or where they get into?

Nicholas Rhee: [00:31:00] Yeah. So I mean, obviously it can, it does vary from school to school, but I think in general in my school, it's, and you know, Dwight, it's not that big of a problem.

Like, I mean, I think if anything it varies more grade by grade, like, you know, between the level of cutthroat ness or like mm-hmm. General,

Sam Rhee: what's your, what's your grade?

Nicholas Rhee: The general approach. And I think, yeah, my grade is, we're not too cutthroat. I think it's pretty good. Like, you know, I think we're an, an incredibly competent grade in terms of, um, um, you know, in terms of our abilities and like, you know, obviously that I feel like almost like our admissions from the cycle reflects that like, you know, this has been one of the most successful years for Deloitte and like mm-hmm.

Sam Rhee: Do you know anyone in your class who did not get into a school they really wanted to get into? Or any school? Like, you know, even if it, uh, some, you know, that they were disappointed with the results of their college admissions and how have they dealt with that?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I. Yeah. I mean, I, I think so. Like, it's like, I mean, honestly, I don't, I've, you know, barely, I really don't try and pry too much into other people's business, of course.

But, um, but yeah, but like, totally, like, I think I've, um, yeah, definitely seen that play out. Well, obviously like there is, um, [00:32:00] there's disappointment.

You know, I haven't necessarily been like super close with someone who might've gotten like super devastating news. Mm-hmm. Like, particularly to them.

obviously there are people who have having, I've known so many people who like maybe have been disappointed by certain results or certain decisions, but, um,

Sam Rhee: there was a kid in, uh, a private school up in, was it New Hampshire or Massachusetts who killed himself, who, because he did not get into the schools he wanted to get into.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, isn't that. Terrible. Do you think that that's self-inflicted pressure or pressure just brought on by parents or both?

Nicholas Rhee: Well, I think it's probably, it's usually almost bo always bo, almost always both in those cases, like 'cause um, you know, it's both nature versus nurture. 'cause like, when you kind of engender when an expectation is engendered into you from like, you know, a young age maybe, or, you know, over, maybe over even the course of high school.

Like when, especially when you're, again, in a very, I think a lot of it depends on the kind of open openness of the environment you're in.

I guess maybe, maybe at a boarding school even, it can be more, it can be more difficult. Sure. I mean, I don't, I mean, I haven't been in boarding school, but like I imagine that environment might be [00:33:00] more

Sam Rhee: Yeah, your parents are around, other people aren't around.

Nicholas Rhee: You might, that might be more ins might be more insular. Like you don't feel like you have anyone you can talk to outside of this space, outside of this context when there's so much else to talk about. And there's so much more out there and there's so much more to think about besides just in admission decision.

But like, yeah,

I think parents in general can also, mm-hmm. Should, should be very careful to, like, again, just not to make sure that their, you know, their child, child experiences, child's experiences, their own mm-hmm. And that, um, you know, they are fully aware of the realities and just the, the randomness of the process as well.

Sam Rhee: I remember now, maybe you could describe the emotions you felt when you applied Ed. You got the deferral for that ed decision from Duke. We were all there as your family. Tell me about that moment.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. Um, I think that that moment was, yeah, obviously disappointing, but, um, you know, and I think it's different because like, it's your first decision. It was the first decision I got back at least. So what were you thinking? Um, you know, and yeah, [00:34:00] so like, um, you know, I think leading to the buildup, I was just like, I was very nervous.

At the same time, again, I was just keeping in, keeping in mind like, okay, I think I have a chance. You know, I think that, um, obviously like, you know, it's kind of different when it's not a binary, um, result. Like, you know, it's, oh, like, you know, if it's deferral, like that's like, you know, in the middle, like it's intermediate.

Like you don't, there's no specific set path for what to expect and how you're supposed to feel, I guess, in a sense.

Mm-hmm.

So, but, so I just knew that I was either gonna be, you know, disappointed or happy. And, um, going into when I got that kind of disappointment, I was like, you know, I was pretty, you know, you know, it was, it's upsetting, but like, also at the same time, it's like, um, when I have time to reflect on it after you can be like, okay, yeah, there's, since it's since ded, like there's so many things left to do.

There's so much work that I put in that is gonna be reflected now elsewhere because of new decisions that are gonna be coming back to schools and to tons of schools that, you know, I'm super interested and I love and, um. I love to go too. And, um, so like, [00:35:00] it just, I think if anything, just the waiting is difficult.

Like, 'cause when your number one choice, um, is not gonna, is gonna be literally is going from the first to the last decision that comes out. Mm-hmm. Um, that kinda anticipation builds up way too much I think. And like that's just, it's so kinda difficult to handle, but, um, especially, yeah. Especially maybe it didn't apply to as many schools.

And like there's so, 'cause there's so much more news left, there's so much more things to Right. To, to focus on and worry about. Right. So, um, you know, it's not, it's not gonna be stressful and it's de not gonna be disappointing when things don't go your way like that.

Sam Rhee: But how do you manage that time? Because like you said, there's, it's a long period, so after you got the deferral, you did get a bunch of positive news with other admissions, but you're still, like you said, waiting for the whole process to play out. Especially since, like you said, Duke's. Um, admissions decision at the end was, was one of the very last ones.

Um, it's, it is a very, very, very, very stressful time at that time. So, so advice on how to sort of deal with that, um, and try to keep moving forward.

Nicholas Rhee: [00:36:00] Yeah, so I think that, again, you have to contextualize it. You have to realize that it's just one decision in a long list, in a long process that you're prepared for. Like you're, you know, you like you applied to multiple schools 'cause you're prepared for any outcome you're prepared for. You're trying to account for any possibility. So, um,

Sam Rhee: did you use anything to help lift you up or make you feel better or get through it?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I mean, not really. I mean, you just, I mean, you just kind of deal with it.

Like, it's like, it's not the end of the world. Like, you're not dead. Like, it's just like, but obviously like, yeah, like you, everyone knows what this feels like, what it can feel like, you know, what kind of bad things can arise, what kind of emotions you're gonna be feeling. And, you know, people deal with it differently.

I think for me at least the way I just kind of dealt with it is just,

um, you realizing how competitive the process, especially the ed process is for so many schools like that just, you know, again, again, it comes to back into reality. It's not like, you know, you're, it doesn't mean anything about other decisions. It doesn't mean anything about you.

It just means that things didn't go your way this one time and you know, you can hope for the best and you can. But obviously there's more things to look forward to in the immediate present. And, um, that, and so like [00:37:00] yeah, you have, so you have to kinda do a mental shift. Definitely. You have to accept, you have to explain to yourself like, yeah, that this is okay now this is gonna be a longer process.

Like, you know, you're not gonna get immediate gratification. Like there's no, there's no quick ending to this. Like, you know, um, it's gonna be something that you have to deal with. There's gonna be more stress, you know, it's annoying, but again, at the very least your outpatients are in, there's nothing you can really do about it right now.

So you should mostly just focus on enjoying what's ahead of you and, you know, realizing that at the very least you have the power of choice. So that is something you have to keep in mind. Like, you can't be too fixated on mm-hmm. On um, one alk you can't fit to fix it on one outcome or one trajectory that you're lo looking forward because, um, there's so many different factors that are now, that now matter in a sense.

So like, and I think again, Sasha going through the exact same trajectory was super important or helpful. Mm-hmm. Like

Sam Rhee: we saw that.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. 'cause I can see, you know, you heard disappointment, but also. Looking forward to, um, new things, you know, hopefully getting good news back that. Mm-hmm. And, um, uh, just realizing that again, this, now it's a long game.

Mm-hmm. But, um, that's stressful. Mm-hmm. But [00:38:00] again, and it, it does, it is kind of late undertone among like, under the other things you're doing as a student, but, um, it, um, it's, again, it's also outta your hands now, so, yeah.

Sam Rhee: I almost forgot I was gonna ask you before, during your study habits about, um, advice you would give students in, in terms of sleep pattern and habits.

I've seen both, like you do really well with your sleep patterns like this past week actually I think you did, and then in the past where your sleep patterns were really disjointed and like not, um, probably optimal for like what you were doing. So how do you try to manage your sleep and, and what do you do to try to do your best in terms of sleep?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I think a lot of it seems to how motivated you are to do all the sleep. Like it just, um, you know, obviously, but again, are you not motivated? Well, sometimes I can be, sometimes I can't be like, and it, it varies more than it should probably. But like, I guess think speaking like in general terms, like yeah, obviously you want to have good sleep habits, you want to be consistent with your schedule.

You want to get enough sleep. Especially as a kid every night we hear this [00:39:00] so much, it really grates on, on your nerves at some eventually, but like, it's just, but obviously like,

you know, I know, um, I think most kids I know prob, but that's the thing. That's the thing. I think most kids I know probably don't, you know, adhere to a consistent schedule or don't get as much as they, you know, scientifically should.

That's why there's so much rhetoric around this and why there's so much, um, fear mongering news and like, there's just like so many advisory warnings like that. Yeah. Kids aren't getting asleep. But yeah. And we're not, like, that's just how it is. Like I, and like, but obviously like, you know, we want to be striving, at least me personally, I wanna be striving towards getting it better.

And I've had good moments, bad moments, like there's inconsistencies all the time,

and a lot of it is also circumstantial. Like it's not, sometimes it's just 'cause like you have like a busier week in terms of schoolwork or athletic load and like that just inherently makes it more difficult to adapt and then account for those changes if you're not, maybe if you're not, again, motivated to make that change.

Sam Rhee: Is there any tip that you have in terms of trying to get better sleep like that you've done?

Nicholas Rhee: Uh. I'd say that actually I [00:40:00] think like managing, like managing eating is probably good. Like your times of really eating times. Yeah. Like making sure that you, um, making sure that like you don't over, you eat at good times.

Like, you know, you have consistent like, you know, not like necessarily through meal do a day thing, but like you have consistent like time for dinner, things like that. Like I think that actually psychological, I think you do eat pretty regularly. Yeah. I pretty consistently, I'd say in terms of dinner at night.

Yeah. And, um, also I think, I think, um, getting good like shower routine as well, like Oh yeah. Seems like a little arbitrary. But

Sam Rhee: you shower at night or in the morning?

Nicholas Rhee: I, I some, I usually do both actually until like, yeah. But like, and, but yeah, I think it's just all a ton of about putting, putting sleep in terms of that wider routine that you're used to.

Mm-hmm. Because that helps your circadian rhythm, but also that, um, that conditions you to, um, expecting a, expecting a routine. It kind of, I. It kind of facilitates that process. 'cause like, you know, when you have a routine, when you have a routine with other things mm-hmm. It ties into sleep as well.

Sam Rhee: So let's get back to, so you went through [00:41:00] the whole process.

You got into a bunch of schools, including USC, which you were, would've been a, a, a real choice for you. And then the last day where you opened up the portal and you got that acceptance from Duke, what were you thinking before you opened it? And then what were you thinking when you opened it and after you opened it?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I think, um, you know. Well, I mean, it, it was a pretty rough week to win it before because like it was the last week of break. It was last week of spring break for us, but, um, last week of spring break, but I was also very sick for that entire week pretty much. So, um, so like that kind of anticipation was, um, a little, um, you know, difficult to handle I guess.

Like, and just kind of almost felt like, I mean, I didn't really have time to, to live through it. To live through it kind of, and like just really be in a good state of mind and be kind of in the, be present in the moment. 'cause everything was, my whole body clock was messed up and like that. But, you know, I guess I was still able to tell myself like, yeah, I am pretty nervous.

But, um, you know, at the end of the day, like [00:42:00] it's about, it's about you. And I think something that Ash said actually was super helpful was like, you know, when she called me about it, she was like, you know, this is good. You know, when this take, when this session comes out, it can be time to slip you no matter where you go.

And, 'cause that just means that, 'cause it was last session, so that means the process is done. Um, so once it comes out, regardless of what the outcome is. Gonna be, you're gonna be, you, you'll know what school you'll be going to in a sense. So, um, the process will be over, the stress will be over the anticipation.

So that actually was super helpful for me in like contextualizing this and, um, seeing, again, seeing the bigger picture. Um, but obviously, like, yeah, it's nervous. It's as it would be for anyone I'm sure. And, um, uh, I was pretty nervous sitting up to it. Um, you know, I, I, I almost didn't feel like I had enough time to prepare mentally for it.

But again, I also realized that that's kind of ridiculous to say, 'cause like, you're just, you're just like reading a quick outcome. Like, it's nothing, nothing media is changing at all. There's like nothing that you have to prepare for. It's just about, um, making sure that you, I don't deal with it. They deal with it properly.

You have, you go in with the right mindset, you come out with the right mindset. So, um, you leading a position, I [00:43:00] was nervous, but, um, um. I was just, I was just glad that I, I was glad that I had worked at everything in my mind, I guess, beforehand and that I could, um, and then again, the process was gonna be over regardless, you know, regardless of what happens.

So that was a great reassurance to me. You know, I was just lucky enough to be able to get into schools that I was super happy to go to, you know, before that as well. That reassurance is super helpful. Not everyone has that, for sure. But, um, I, at end of the day, everyone just, again, everyone's gonna open the same open opens decision in the same way.

Everyone's gonna, everyone understands that this is such a, uh, you know, like such a transient process. Like, you know, you open it, that's it, it's over, it's done. Like you, um, you now, now you have to deal with consequences. But, uh, I think everyone kind of working that on my mind, what it meant for what, what each outcome would mean for me, working that ahead of time, that helps.

And, uh, I was very lucky to be able to, you know, um, have the, have my desired outcome come true. Yeah. So.

Sam Rhee: That was crazy. I had a hard time actually believing it when it first happened because I [00:44:00] was trying to prepare myself for it not to happen and, and be prepared for that outcome.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah, because I think it's like when it comes to like people saying like, yeah, expect the worst.

Like, yeah, you can do that. Maybe sometimes I have done that because like it maybe helps temporary expectations. Like it feels like this, the disappointment will be lessened, but like mm-hmm. Also at the same time, like, you know, if you have a chance, like there's no reason to, uh, I feel like it's almost better to just, um, come almost hold like both perspectives simultaneously.

Like, you have a chance, but if I don't, then I understand. Mm-hmm. I will maybe will disappoint, I'll be sad, but it's just something I have to deal with and something that I know I have tools to deal with. I have people around me to help me. I can, you know, view this in a better context. I can see the bigger picture.

I can know that I'll be happy, you know, so it's like, it's just like, it's weird to have so much of like, so much of your expectation determined by like one, like single decision. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Let on at the same time, that's just kinda the reality of the process, and I guess again, that's why you have to balance everything.

Make sure that. Make sure you're thinking about it the right way. You're not too set on one thing. You're not gonna be so set in a school or something to have your [00:45:00] expectations and then just crash down because, um, again, it's outta control. So you need to adjust your way of thinking around that. Mm-hmm. Um, and just be appreciative of what comes your way.

Sam Rhee: It's a very mature, uh, thought process and, and that's pretty amazing. And, uh, I know I can hear Sasha in my head already saying, well, I knew he was gonna get in the whole time, like, which is what she was saying beforehand. Um, so now you're gonna be starting at Duke in, as a freshman in the fall. So what is it that you are most looking forward to in terms of being a freshman in college?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, I think honestly just the, uh, the open ended endedness. Like, I think the open, the open-endedness and like the ability to kind of have so much more freedom and, you know, then I. Than anyone expects. And like, that's kinda what most kids say initially. That's like your initial reaction to what college life is supposed to be like.

But also, uh, the amount of resources that, you know, that would be available to me to kind of, to shape my path, to be the ability, the [00:46:00] ability to like actualize my learning so early on and just, you know, have decisions from majors, like to have the opportunities, meet new people. Um, really, um, really, really envisioned a greater academic journey for me.

Like that is just super exciting. And doing Duke's campus, it just makes it all the better and like, you know, having all the resources there, um, everything that they have and of course everything, the school culture and um, everything around TA is amazing. And, um, um, I, being in such an environment where that's super supportive and super nice, super aesthetically, aesthetically pleasing, but also, um, you have, um, everything at your fingertips kind of, and you know you're gonna be, it's gonna be challenging.

There's gonna be. A lot of difficulties, maybe some bumps in the road, but, um, and you know, academically it's gonna be probably, maybe, maybe a difficult learning curve in some aspects, but also the fact that all people to go go through it with can be able to see, so, see so many places, you know, meet them so many people and just in general have fun.

Also, while doing it is just in great atmosphere, is just gonna be super, super [00:47:00] great, I think. And, you know, having the best, you know, having world class, um, access to sport at my, at my fingertips is just, is just, you know, gonna make it so much easier.

Sam Rhee: And in retrospect now as parents don't hold back, is there anything that we did that you thought was particularly helpful, uh, during this journey and then anything that we definitely could have done better or been more aware of, or could have been more supportive about?

Nicholas Rhee: Um, yeah, so like, um, I'm not a hundred percent sure, like, I think, like, I, I think you guys honestly did a pretty much as well of a job as any, you guys could, as anyone, any parent could, you know, when it comes to guiding child for the process, you know, being there, but also, you know, minimally invasive, I guess.

Like, and, um, just doing everything, being the presence that is needed as any parent wants to be, but also, um, ensuring that your child is aware of what kind of responsibilities lie on them and, you know, and cope and you're helping the child deal with the [00:48:00] pressures, helping them deal with, um, you know, any kinda difficulties, you know, whether it be academic or otherwise.

Um, and just, you know, always be willing to face whatever problem there might be. That's all super good and I think has an amazing job with that. And like, um, I think maybe if you had wanna do anything differently, like you could, um, I think your point maybe about like, you know, um, keeping, you know, maybe I.

I mean, it's kinda outta your control. Like, you know, maybe keep, if you're a fan of a school, like keeping it out of the child's purview in a sense, like can help, like it's obviously it kinda outta control. So as it's not something that like is forced on us in the context of college, it's just something that happens to be related to that, you know, as you grow up in this reality of college faces you and like, but, um, you know, maybe, yeah, that could be something that, you know, parents maybe share away from.

But at the same time, again, it's kind of under control, but at the end of the day, but also making sure that, you know, your child is, um, aware of the realities of course, and is, um, just mature emotionally, mature enough to accept whatever comes their way and, but also, you know, to do [00:49:00] everything they can to try and make the process easier for them to carry their mindset into it.

That is what's always important and I think you guys honestly just did a great job with that. Thanks. And I mean, of course having a sibling to go through it ahead of me, I mean, that was probably harder for her honestly, than it was for me. So like that is just, you know, that. That helps as well.

Tremendously like, yeah,

Sam Rhee: well if I had to do it again, I'd be a Nix fan and, uh, instead of having Coach K's stuff, I'd have Dito stuff or, you know, Patrick Ewing stuff instead. Uh, so, um, but you're right. Uh, thanks. I appreciate that. Um, any last words of advice for anyone who is in high school? Maybe they're struggling, maybe they're about to face the college process and it looks so daunting and just hearing about, you know, seeing their older peers or anyone else going through it and saying, this is just, I feel overwhelmed.

Nicholas Rhee: Yeah. Um, I think that there's more advice I'd give, especially since it's so fresh in my mind, I guess is just to, [00:50:00] um, en en enjoy being in the present. In a sense. I kind of enjoy that. It's almost just kinda background music because I, looking back, I, I almost think to myself like, how was I not more stressed at certain moments of the process?

Like, how was I not feeling more daunted and feeling more intimidated, but. I also realized that of course, being in that moment, like having everything in front of me, having so many things to worry about outside of the process and just think about and enjoy, like that obviously is just that kind of keeps you going, that keeps you going, kinda is super important to have.

Like having, having, you know, systems of support, people you can talk to, um, a way to way to distance yourself from the process. So that is very important. But also when it comes to just dealing with it directly, like it's um, um, you know, having, uh, the, the fact that we can have variety in the schools that we applied to is just so important.

'cause it's, again, it just to try and depolarize the process as much as possible to make it not a binary, you know, to, to make it not feel binary. 'cause that, uh, people can fall into those thinking traps. But, um, you know, just making sure that you're not being, you're not, um, [00:51:00] overdramatizing it, you're not, you know, you're not putting too much weight into one thing.

Obviously that can be difficult depending on who you are and the kinds of schools you apply to. But, um, but in a sense, I think for me, just realizing there's more, always more ahead, realizing it's a long process. You kind of, even if you know, I mean, like it can, at the least, it can be a long process. It depends.

Um, and again, realizing that everyone's going through the same thing and that, um, your stress is not exclusive and that, you know, regardless of how you want to cope with your stress, you can always have that reassurance that, um, that, that, you know, it doesn't define you and that nothing that comes out of this is going to, uh, say anything about you as a person that you didn't really already know.

So, um, you know, thinking beyond like Phil, I mean, that's a very philosophical way of thinking about it. But you know, in general, just knowing that you're gonna be okay and that, you know, the stress that comes your way, it's normal. So, um, you know, so as you go through this process, as you know, it kind of peters out or picks up, you have to just, um, just worry about other, worry about other things first, [00:52:00] obviously.

Um, but then obviously as things wind down and things get kind of, kind of climax, like, um, it just comes down to, um, being, securing yourself. I'm realizing that it's about you, so how you feel is most important, basically about it.

Sam Rhee: Thank you so much, Nick.

Nicholas Rhee: Thank you for having me on the show.

Sam Rhee: Appreciate [00:53:00] [00:54:00] [00:55:00] it.